I am dedicating this week’s blog to my dear father who left his family suddenly on October 11, 2016. It is difficult to accept the death of a loved one. I’ve been asking questions like, “why now? He was too young!” and I still have not been able to understand nor digest what has happened. My father was healthy and physically active; he would bicycle during the summer months and ice skate in the winter. He was a very easy-going man who would crack a joke out of nowhere. He could always cheer people up and make them laugh.
My father lived in a small northern Ontario community. I wish I could have seen him more often. We spoke regularly on the phone, and we would send each other text messages now and then. In hindsight, I am glad we had a chance to communicate in the days leading up to his passing.
If you’ve ever suffered the loss of a loved one, you know that these circumstances are without a doubt difficult for the entire family. I would like to share what is helping me get through this difficult time:
My religion has helped me deal with the passing of my father. I’ve watched movies like Heaven is for Real and I’ve started to read books to help me understand what happens after life on Earth. Practicing my faith has allowed me to find some peace in knowing that my father’s soul and spirit will live on. I believe he is watching over me, although he may not be here physically. My father will know if I am happy or sad, & he will know about my future accomplishments.
Grieving and crying. Self-expression is important and HEALTHY! Do not keep emotions bottled up inside! You have to work through the feelings – feel the pain for as long as you have to. It’s okay. Time will heal, but you have to go through the grieving process. I’ve taken homeopathic remedies to help me go through the grieving process.
I talk to my father before I go to bed through prayer. I tell my dad how my day went, I express my feelings, and I ask him for advice when needed. What would my father say? What would he do? I still feel so close to him!
Knowing that in the future I will be with my father. I believe our souls transcend to a different dimension, one that most human beings are not physically or mentally able to be a part of. I am rest assured that we will be together again someday.
My father wants me to be happy. My father would understand that there is a time to grieve, but he would also want me to resume my life. I know my father would want me to be smile, laugh often, and to continue to work at building my practice.
My friends and family have been so supportive during this difficult time. They’ve offered shoulders to cry on, and have also given their time if I needed anything. It truly is a blessing to have such wonderful people around.
All the memories my father and I shared together. These are found in family photos, television shows, movies, and through songs we used to listen to together. Sports were also an important part of our lives.
How do you cope with the death of a loved one? Please share what has worked for you.
Ashley Kowalski is a licensed Naturopathic Doctor in Embrun, Cornwall, and Ottawa. She is currently accepting new patients.